Shit I've learned in college:

1. Always pick the Asian kid or the middle-aged non-trad student as your lab partner. The vast majority of both will actually work and care about their grades.

2. Most professors of various composition/literature classes aren't as well read as an average member of my family.

3. All majors in the departments of Business, Education, Humanities and Social Science are complete and utter bullshit, except linguistics and philosophy.

4. Most of the people in any of the majors in #3 are too stupid to graduate even in those non-majors.

5. People who can't CLEP POLS 101 shouldn't be allowed to vote.

6. Around half of Americans are either illiterate, incapable of basic arithmetic, or both. Instead of admitting either and rectifying these problems, though, they will simply blame their instructors for "not teaching."

7. Most "engineering majors" are completely fucking deluding themselves. If you're struggling in calculus, you can forget about ever passing statics or dynamics.

8. Most Forestry/Wildlife Majors honestly believe they'll get to hunt and fish as a job when they graduate and/or that the Department of Natural Resources is grossly understaffed and will gladly hire them. Neither is true.

9. College sports are a giant waste of an institution's time and money, as well as the student body's. The faculty of every department (besides PE) on a campus understands this, but the administration never does.

10. Anytime the majority of a class fails a test, everyone, students, administrators and the instructor included, will irrationally blame the instructor. Nevermind that the students didn't learn the material by reading the chapter or showing up to class; It is somehow the instructor's fault.