Ok, so I have a firearms permit, a CDL with hazmat and just applied for a passport, so now's a good time for a rant about government just plain being stupid.

Applying for the firearms permit:

I had to do that at the Lowndes County Courthouse and wasn't aware there were metal detectors and armed guards in courthouses nowadays, so I didn't think to leave the 3 rather sizeable knives I usually carry behind in the car. I got to the metal detector and just put them in the bowl with my keys, figuring at worst they'd make me take the knives back to the car, or would hold them there until I left. Instead, the guard handed them back to me with everything else! This is security? What would they have actually stopped me from carrying in? A pistol?

Part of getting that was paying minor fees to a variety of law enforcement agencies and courts for the hassle of them running background checks/fingerprints on me, etc, to verify I wasn't wanted anywhere, a felon, or a person of interest in an ongoing investigation. I can understand that, but of course, every single little agency had to be paid their fee seperately. So instead of being able to hand the clerk $100 or so, I had to spread that out among 5 different agencies, some of whom took only cash, some of whom took only money orders, and others that were willing to take checks. I will note that the local sheriff was quite happy to take a personal check from a law-abiding registered voter, especially since he already knew me from when I was arrested for aggravated assault (but never charged.) The FBI and GBI, however, would not take a check. Why, exactly? Is there normally a problem with people writing bad checks to the FBI? Even if so, one would think the check bouncing would kinda save them the trouble of the background check I was paying for anyway, yeah?

Then we get to the time factor. Local police, sheriff, and superior court approved me on the spot. The FBI took around 2 weeks to run me through their computers. The GBI however actually had human beings study my fingerprints and compare them to fingerprints in open investigations. Welcome to the 1950s. This took something on the order of 3 months.

CDL/Hazmat idiocy:

Since 9/11, issuance of hazmat permits somehow now involves the Department of Homeland Security. I suppose that makes sense in a way, making sure terrorists aren't applying for hazmat permits and all. However, while every other agency (Dept. of Transporation, GA Department of Public Safety, etc) cleared me on the spot with a simple computer search, Homeland Security took around 2 weeks to figure out if I was a terrorist or not. Course, if I was, I'd have simply stolen a truck in that time and blown something up.

Passport stupidity:

To get a passport now, you've gotta mail the State Department your original birth certificate. They won't take copies, they won't let the county clerk or federal building employee handling the application simply look at the thing, or at a state ID. Nor can they look me up in a database of drivers' licenses (which I had to have an original birth certificate to get.)

Can we buy one less bomber next year and spend those $2 billion actually making any of this shit remotely customer-friendly? I'd storm out of a bank for any such acts of blatant idiocy, why do we expect less of a business we're required to use?